When I was pregnant with my second child, my thoughts turned to what our lives would be like when I went back to work. I definitely wanted to go back to work – I enjoy my job and get a lot of fulfilment from having that area of my life. My husband and I agreed that it made sense for me to try to make a go of freelancing, part-time.

Eighteen months later, our oldest has started school and things have changed again. I am still working for myself as a freelancer, and our family balance is, overall, working really well.

Except, of course, when it doesn’t. When the careful spinning of the plates doesn’t quite come together and one crashes to the floor. Like today. Today, the boys were supposed to go to school / nursery while I worked from home. We had a medical appointment booked for my little boy in the middle of the day, but I still had plenty of time to do a few small bits of work for a couple of clients, write this blog, and do a half day of work for a new client on a big project before heading off at 5:30 to do the nursery / school pickups.

But the little one wasn’t playing ball. He woke up under the weather – nothing specific, just that general whimpering malaise that only the parent of a toddler with a snotty nose and a slight temperature can really know. I knew nursery would take one look at him and send him packing.

Luckily Daddy was able to do school drop with big brother, leaving me to attempt to get some breakfast into small, washed down with Calpol, and put him back to bed. I thought I could crack on with the big project work first. I logged in, but the information I needed hadn’t been sent to me as requested. Bother.

Oh well, I thought. I chased it and then got on with the small tasks I had, ticking them off my list as I went.

My thoughts turned to the appointment we had booked later on. I realised that talking small would be a mammoth pain in the proverbial – we were going to be in a hurry to minimise school missed, and last time he came along he was a big distraction when his brother needed to be concentrating. It was 10am. The appointment was at noon.

I called a friend who I knew would be working from home. She didn’t answer. I sent her a message – and then, knowing she never has her phone on her, I followed up with an email. (If I had been thinking clearly I would have just emailed but hindsight is always 20:20!) Thankfully, she agreed to come around and work in my kitchen and keep an ear out in case he woke while I was out. Excellent.

Checked back for the info I was waiting on. Still nothing. Got my notepad out and started making a big list of all the things I need to do this week in every area of my life (including order our Christmas tree – our school have a deal with a supplier but a very early deadline!!).

Just as I was about to get up to let my friend in, the info I had been waiting on arrived. “Brilliant”, I replied, “I will look at this this afternoon”.

The appointment went like clockwork. I got home, got up the still-sleeping youngest and made lunch for us all. I was relieved to see he was feeling much better and he did manage to eat some lunch. Including rather a lot of brie and a few olives. A true European! 

I should add that this child is a sleeper, even when he’s well. So I fully expected that this afternoon he would go down for another sleep, and I would have a chunk of time on this big project. Ha ha ha. How I laugh at my foolishness. OF COURSE he didn’t want to go back to sleep.

My hopes of a productive day slowly dissolved. Well, almost. I thought it would be apt to write this with him popping over to me and asking for something every few minutes! Soon we’ll go and fetch his big brother from school and the usual evening chaos will begin. And tomorrow… Well, I cross my fingers that tomorrow, he’ll be well enough to go to nursery. 

As the first Christmas after having a baby rolls around, everyone starts telling you that Christmas is going to be so special from now on. It’s going to be magical, wonderful, you’re going to make so many special memories… But there are some key things that no-one tells you about Christmas with toddlers, and you have to discover all by yourself. Here’s my tongue-in-cheek guide 

1) The pressure is on

We’ve all got those friends on Facebook. The ones who have those lovely, well-behaved children, who post pictures every year of all the brilliant Christmas things they do with them. They make their own cards with little paint footprints turned into reindeer. They bake and decorate Christmas cookies. They share gorgeous pictures of their whole family in matching jumpers and everyone is looking at the camera AND smiling! So you figure you’ll have a go. You get out the brown paint and explain to your 3 year old what you’re going to do. You can see in your head how the reindeer cards are going to turn out… And when they turn out looking like poos with eyes (yes this is what my version resembled!!) you give them out anyway, and the family still love them because you and your small person made them with love.

2) Nothing is safe.

Once they are on the move, the tree, the gifts, the decorations are all so wonderfully alluring! Shiny, sparkly, bright coloured things! You find yourself unable to turn your back even for a minute, for fear they might end up either unwrapping Auntie Barbara’s present, or under the toppled tree. I repeat: nothing is safe!

3) Elf on the Shelf will ruin your life

It seems like a fun idea. This little elf visits for advent and perhaps he hides around the house, or maybe even gets up to some kind of mischief. But when you already have a million things to remember,  with Christmas rapidly approaching, the chances of remembering every single night that it needs moving are fairly minimal. If you’re anything like me, you find yourself remembering JUST as you’re dropping off to sleep, and having to traipse back out of bed and downstairs to desperately find somewhere to shove it, before your small person finds it unmoved from yesterday and starts freaking out. By Christmas Eve you’ll have resorted to shoving it up a coat sleeve and hoping for the best.

4) You need to be an expert personal shopper (of sorts)

If, like us, you’re lucky enough to have a big family, chances are there are many people who want to shower your little one with gifts at Christmas. But – here’s the thing – they often also want your input. My second son already has everything – because his brother had it all before him. It’s hard enough to think of things to buy him myself – let alone coming up with ideas for 8 well-meaning relatives asking what he wants. Apologies to my sons who are almost certainly getting pyjamas from everyone this year as I resorted to a default answer!

5) Sometimes they’re little baby Scrooges

You’ve found the cutest costume, which you can’t wait to get them into and show off to everyone. It’s going to be utterly adorable. But they decide they’re not playing ball and sit there dressed as the world’s grumpiest reindeer. (Ok I’ll be honest, they’re still pretty cute despite the sulk!)

But, in all honesty, Christmas really does become more magical. This year, my smalls are 2 and 5 so it’s the first year they’ll both get it. The little one’s face when he came home and saw the tree that I had put up (with a bit of help from his brother) was just lovely. I can’t wait to see them on Christmas morning when they open their presents together… It will almost make up for the sudden cold sweats every time I realise I’ve forgotten to move the elf again!!

We recently went away for a bit of early summer sunshine and relaxation. At least, as much relaxation is available with two young boys around. We don’t call them “The Chaos Twins” for nothing… We’ve been away as a family of 4 a few times and it’s generally been pretty hectic, but this time was definitely our most successful trip to date. I’ve learnt a few things along the way so here are my top tips for making a family holiday with toddlers as easy as possible – wherever you may be travelling, from Normandy to Norway.

1) Pack with military preparedness

This might tell you a lot about what sort of a person I am but I’m not ashamed to say I have created a spreadsheet with a list of what I need to pack for myself and the children (husband is entirely responsible for himself!), along with a separate section for hand luggage. It has tick boxes and everything. I can print it off and start packing a few days before we go, with no need to worry about remembering whether I packed pants 3 days ago – tick it off as it goes in and you know what’s what. It made things so much easier this time around and I will never look back!

2) Snacks, snacks and more snacks for the journey

My hand luggage contained a big carrier back full of snacks. Oat bars, rice cakes, those organic kids crisps that somehow seem more socially acceptable than other crisps for three times the price… you get the gist. So. Many. Snacks. We ended up having no time at all in the airport where we had planned to buy lunch so I was especially glad to have these to tide us through until we could buy stuff on the plane. Travel days almost invariably involve disrupted routines and a LOT of waiting around, and snacks can really help in those moments where the mood starts dropping.

3) More than one child? Twinning is winning

I must confess to loving a bit of twinning with my boys – though on a day-to-day basis we don’t do it that much, they do have a few matching clothes. But this holiday I bought quite a few matching outfits for them, because I realised how easy it is to spot them when they look alike. When you’re in unfamiliar territory (eg an airport) and the kids are haring around, it is so much easier to keep an eye on where they are if you’re looking for two versions of the same outfit. Though do watch out for Daddy dressing the 4-year-old in the 2-year-old’s shorts. Or is that just our family?

4) Take mealtime activities

Do you remember those lovely holiday meals where you sat at a restaurant by the beach gazing peacefully at the blue sea and sky, leisurely nibbling at plate after plate of lovely local food, savouring a nice cold beer? They were great, weren’t they? If your life with smalls is anything like mine it’s now more about damage limitation: getting as much food in, as quickly as you can,

and leaving before there’s a spill / breakage / meltdown. But you can buy yourself some time if you prepare. Seek out small, portable activities that can be easily deployed at mealtimes – we love the Galt Water Magic books which are like reusable colouring books used with a water pen. You’re still unlikely to be able to luxuriate over an hour and a half long boozy lunch, but you might be able to ease the panic just a little.

5) Plan around the children

It sounds really obvious but we’ve only really fully “got” this this time. Pre-children we liked to explore a lot, and with fairly easy-going and flexible kids we’ve tried to be pretty adventurous with them, too – hired a car and done big trips, and not worried too much about the routine. But we’ve realised something. They don’t care about that beautiful secluded beach that’s 90 mins drive away and involves clambering down a steep embankment. They just want to dip their toes in the sea, throw stones and build a sandcastle. So this holiday, we planned around the 2-year-old’s naps. We did short trips of no more than a couple of hours all in. We took it in turns to play in the pool and do colouring with the 4-year-old while his brother slept. We all went to bed around 8:30pm – it was a quieter, smaller kind of holiday, but everyone had a better time as a result. We got more rest. We had special quality time with the 4-year-old. And – because of this – we had (mostly!) good behaviour. There’ll be a time when they’re older and we can do more – explore more places, try new things, eat out more. But just now, while they’re so little, we are embracing a different, and altogether more relaxing, kind of holiday.

If you’re anything like me, the idea of dealing with an impending heatwave fills you with the “what on earth will I do with the kids” heebie-jeebies. Even short trips out are fraught with peril – suncreaming a two-year old is trickier than grabbing a bar of soap from the bottom of the bath, and even with a good coating of factor 50 you spend most of your time crossing roads to keep them as shaded as possible on the way to wherever you need to go. The playground is out of bounds between 11-3 due to the absolute lack of any cover anywhere, and staying home just makes everyone irritable and bored. 

So here are some ideas to change things up and entertain your smalls on those “too darn hot” days, whether you’re at home or away. 

1) Water fun 

You don’t need a paddling pool to enjoy some water fun on a sunny day. For a toddler, there’s almost nothing better than a grown up acting like a child – so surprise them with a squirt from a water pistol. Put ice cubes down each others’ backs. Fill a bucket and grab a sponge to soak and toss by their toes, splashing their legs. Tie water balloons to a washing line and hit them till they burst, like piñatas. Dance under the sprinkler for 5 minutes (though please run the hose first – water sitting in the hose can get dangerously hot in the sun). Be silly and cool down at the same time. 

2) Make ice lollies 

Sunny weather and ice lollies go together like, well, strawberries and cream – another summer staple! And kids love the opportunity to make things in the kitchen – even if they’re not usually all that helpful. You can pick up lolly moulds cheaply in most supermarkets and experiment all summer long with different flavours. As a huge bonus, they’ll almost certainly have less refined sugar and additives than the shop-bought alternatives! BBC Good Food has a great selection to get you started – including some more, ahem, grown up flavours – gin and tonic lolly, anyone? 

3) Arts and crafts 

We have a big box full of offcuts of wrapping paper, old bottles and boxes, ribbons and goodness knows what else. Older kids love being creative and seeing what they can make from junk. Get the paints out – bonus marks if you can find a shady spot in the garden so you’re not worried every minute about the cleanup operation. On our last holiday I had a couple of lovely sessions with my 4yo sitting in a shady area outside a cafe while we drew and coloured pictures in together. Or keep a small stash of fun kits to make things (I buy a lot from Baker Ross) – an ideal portable option for popping in your suitcase for trips away. 

4) Have a picnic 

Pack your blanket and some lunch (or hang out for a bit in that lovely chilled deli aisle as you gather your nibbles!), find a shady spot in a park, and enjoy the great outdoors. I was amazed at how long my 15 month old sat still for a picnic last summer – but the novelty was definitely a big selling point! 

5) Visit a museum / art gallery 

This one will depend very much on your child – but these sorts of places tend to be lovely and cool to keep everything in good condition, so can be a great place to spend a few hours staying safe from the sun. Many will either have specific activity sheets for children, or at least signpost the best child-friendly areas online so if you do your research you can make it fun for them. Even if there aren’t specific activities you can make your own – playing “I spy”, having a competition to see who can spot the next dog / something blue / something for cooking with etc. 

6) Teddy spa 

This one isn’t so much a fun thing to do as a necessary intervention… A hot, sunny day is a fantastic opportunity to pop any beloved but, let’s say “less than spotless”, teddies in the washing machine for a quick spa treatment. I put ours into a pillowcase, fastened with a bobble, and do a 20 min 30 degree cycle. Peg them on the line to dry and with a bit of luck you can be done and dusted during naptime with little one none the wiser!